Monday, December 20, 2010

Mesh

Yes. Vinay, Aditya, Venky and Rahul saw them thrice. I and Vinit saw them twice. Opening for them in Bangalore, and then getting off the stage to watch them was just surreal for me. I am still reeling from this weekend. I don't think watching a live act will ever be the same. In my books, these guys are the most important and most inspirational metal band out there.

The "tour" ends this weekend. It's been a grueling month. Red-eye flights, 4 hour sleep cycles, and overall grumpiness. But we've given our all on stage. Nail, teeth, and fist. Every fucking time.

We're playing with Demonic Resurrection, Devoid, and Bloodshed, this weekend. RockFort 26th December Bandra Amphitheater.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

NH7

We had a blast at the NH7 Bacardi Weekender festival. Pretty much the entire Bombay alternative and underground circuit was seen at this 3 day festival. We were taken care of, and everything was clockwork (Read Vijay Nair). It was great to see our friends from Undying inc, Scribe, DR, and other bands flock together around the stage throughout day 1, irrespective of the band playing. Alcohol was flowing, and the show was my best with BM, yet. We play at GIR Bangalore this weekend, where we will open for the mighty Meshuggah. So if you're around, get to the palace grounds on Saturday. And if you're from Delhi, get to the GIR after-party at the Mezz on Sunday. Come talk to us, we'd like to meet you.

The rest is written. Pardon the bland greyness.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Neu


I wasn't too fond of this band. Many years ago, I must have been 19; i purchased a ripped copy of Ozzfest '97. And one of the many bands that played that show was this Sludge/Doom metal band called Neurosis. The concert featured one song per band, and I didn't like Neurosis' bit (Locust Star). I was young and strung up on nu metal. But that video had a profound impact on me. It was magnanimous, it was scary, it was intimidating. I hated it.

Two months ago, me and Vinay we hanging at his place, and were about to start writing lyrics to 'Chakna for Church'. "Let's watch a video before we begin.", said Vinay. He goes onto Youtube, does a search, and BAM! Locust star @ Ozzfest '97. I was caught in the wake of a fucking 500 foot wave. It was magnanimous, it was scary, it was intimidating. It was Neurosis. I haven't looked back since that day, and i am a complete convert. Thank you, Vinay.

Yesterday, i was killing time at work. Looking through some random band wiki pages. I went onto the Neurosis page, then onto the Scott Kelly (Neurosis vocalist) page. From there, again the water reference, the flow took me to Scott Kelly's old blog. Everything that i thought i knew about writing, music, touring, and life, changed.

This guy writes from the very depths of his dark heart. The posts are brash, graphic, and very very captivating. The man doesn't even do a copy check; yet the stuff that he has written has touched me so much.

If inspiration had claws and a terminal illness, it would be called Scott Michael motherfucking Kelly.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Avg

The Average teen poem

My life is so dark,
So cold, so stark.
My lve is a cold door knob,
When will ur warm hnds reach out?
When, oh when, Bob?
Dark shadws consume the light,
Oh, how i wish i cud fight.
This deep drkness of night,
I just wnt to write.

Mnsters of the past do nt let me sleep
I will sit on my sofa n weep.

I do not trst my luvd ones with my hope
It is like riding my cycle down a slope,
Life is very unfair, nd I cannot take it
It is like riding that cycle, and g8ing a ticket.

I am so angry, I hate myself, I really do
I hate myself and want to die, like that singer of U2.

Monday, November 22, 2010

O

HAI GAISE!
So we've been jamming and getting ready for the next 2 months, which promise to be absolutely crammed with Gigs. No, we aren't complaining, asshole. Everyone's thrilled by the fact that there are going to be shit loads of shows all over the country. Plus, there is GIR Bangalore, where we will open for the Mothership - Meshuggah. That, with Irock, NH7, IIMA, and lots of other gigs has made life very exciting for us in general.

Oh, and we've released an E.P. We call it Metastasis. And you can download it here------> http://nh7.in/indiecision/2010/10/20/bhayanak-maut-metastasis-ep/

That's about it. What? Can't we post straight messages without the attempt at humour? You're right, we cant. We like our messages like we like our women: Paragraphed and left-aligned.

Sunneith

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

You

You know those whores who will play at GIR this year? We are them. Thank you and Goodnight.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Regular

A regular conversation with Rahul.

Me : Hey, Rahul. We're jamming tomorrow aren't we?

Rahul: Yeah, man. Tomorrow at 5pm. How you been, man?

Me: Super. How's everything?

Rahul : Great, man. I've been trying to get some work done at the side. Been listening to the new Soilwork album, man. It's great. “The Panic Broadcast” isn’t the return to their roots as one might expect especially with the return of Wichers to the line up. In fact, it’s still the Modern Metal SOILWORK that they have come to be, but they have just changed a few of the focuses and added a bit more here and there to create a new sound that happens to incorporate many older tendencies. And apart from that, everything's super. I watched Inception, man. Fuck, what a film! Inception is one of the most honest films ever made. Nolan has crafted a movie that’s beyond brilliant and layered both narratively and thematically. It requires the audience to take in a collection of rules, exceptions, locations, jobs, and abilities in order to understand the text, let alone the fascinating subtext. Nolan’s magnum opus is the first major blockbuster in over a decade that’s demanded intense viewer concentration, raised thoughtful and complex ideas, and wrapped everything all in a breathlessly exciting action film. Inception may be complicated, but simply put it’s one of the best movies of the year. But yeah, lot of thing happening off late. We met at JATC last week and i thought.......

Me: Rahul, RAHUL! It's almost time, i'll see you at jam in 30 minutes.

Rahul: Ok, man.

V

So, Vinay is off to Montreal to visit his brother, Vivek; whom he hasn't met for almost 10 years now. Vinay will be saving on excess-luggage charges because he no longer has that legendary beard; which is also the reason why Vivek has asked Vinay to carry a placard with his name on it.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

I

Monday, September 13, 2010

Brush

Brush my face! Notorious roller and closet bass-player, Rahul Hariharan, has returned to the motherland.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Monday, August 16, 2010

Has a painter's work ever made you feel / think different?

I had been an admirer of Rothko's work ever since I had seen a documentary about the painter on TV in 2008.

I considered myself blessed to see Mark Rothko's Seagram Murals at the Tate Britain in 2009.

They had an immediate effect on me. I had to take a seat and stare. I had to stare at the colours. I had to stare at the shapes.

The Seagram Murals are massive. They envelope you. You find yourself enraptured.

What do they mean? I can't say.

What do they mean to me? Something that I've struggled to put in words.
They have immense depth. Some of them even move. Some of them move you.

I thought, "If 'Darkness' had colour, it would look like this."

See for yourselves: http://tinyurl.com/MarkRothko

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Is

Is Diarrhea the opposite of sodomy?

Monday, August 9, 2010

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Gig


So we're playing after a 3 month hibernation. New material coming you way. Be there to watch us, Scribe and Demonic Resurrection. It will be fun. Gig details below. Carry you own Fleshlights.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Release

I held her in my arms,
Even as our bodies became one, i felt myself inside her,
Our union drew close to a shuddering climax.
And then she said it, the three words that made me weep right then.
She said, "Release the Kraken!".

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Rolling stones metal awards

We're nominated for Best band, Best Album, Best Song, Best Vocalist, Best Guitarist, Best Drummer at the Rolling Stone Metal Awards 2010. Vote for us! We'll send out happy thoughts and buy you lotion. http://www.facebook.com/rollingstone.metalawards

Friday, May 28, 2010

Drum and Bass at Zenzi, Bandra. A Haiku.

Beats erupted from
The speakers on the dance floor
I heard nature call

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Presentation

Hub-spoke model, integrated, mission, across all levels, extinct like the dinosaurs, bell curve, 5 'p's, resource management, Pepsi cola. if you use or have used any of these words in presentations, you're an asshole.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Did

Did you hear about the Organs?

Sunday, May 2, 2010

She

And i walk up to her and i say "I quite like what you offer, my fair dame. Your skin shines like the dawn of may". She raises her head, blinks twice and says "Laudey, chuttha dey."

Saturday, April 3, 2010

GIG


We're playing at the Blue Frog with Reverse Polarity, tomorrow 9 pm. Entry 150 bucks.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Dictionary

For those who refer to dictionaries to look up words such as G-spot, Clitoris and Mother-in-law.


http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Bhayanak%20Maut

Monday, March 29, 2010

Princess Sheeba

www.princesssheeba.com

This has to be one of the most amazing websites that i've ever come across.
I'm not being sarcastic.
Sheeba is my hero.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Bhayanak Maut are on Metal Hammer's Planet Metal Compilation CD - March 2010.

This is what they had to say:

The current issue of Metal Hammer includes a very special mini-magazine and companion CD: Planet Metal.

Hammer has been trawling the globe for the best in far flung heavy metal and the stories behind them: the people, the places, the meaning. From the social and religious oppression in Iran to the burgeoning Indian metal scene; from the closed society of China and its musical outpourings to South America where the legacy of metal goes deep and means much.

Also we headed to South Africa, South Korea, Japan, Egypt and around the Mediterranean. We found bands creating metal instruments such as sitars, erdu, marimba and shamisen, and guitar-based bands using fascinating non-western chord patterns. In our search we came across not only the wild and wonderful but simply some of the best heavy metal we’ve heard in years – seriously, check out the Bhayanak Maut track on the CD

If you want to have your eyes opened to a world of metal outside Europe and North America, then pick up a copy of Metal Hammer with the free 15 track CD

Bands include Bhayanak Maut from India, Myrath from Tunisia, Black Infinity from Vietnam, Farzad from Iran, Daycore from Colombia, Infection from Peru, Scarab from Egypt (who already have a fan in Karl Sanders Nile), Terraseria from Mexico, Bilocate from Jordan, Undying Inc from India, Agro from South Africa, the crushing Coffins from Japan, Fatal Fear from South Korea, Hate Fusion from Argentina and Sexto Sonar from Venezuela – this is a serious trip!

here's a link to the article on the Metal Hammer Blog :
http://www.metalhammer.co.uk/news/planet-metal-cd-revealed/

Monday, March 8, 2010

Made in a minute

Sunneith and I tasted Minute Maid's new Lemon flavoured drink.
I liked. Very much.
Sunneith didn't.
Here's a haiku.

Sunneith had a sip.
Of Minute Maid's lemon drink.
"Tastes like Miscarriage."

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Remember

Remember kids, we put the rapists in Therapists.

That is all. Indeed.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

RM1

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Hmm




No offence to the religious janta. We respect you sentiments.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Sorry

What did the bus conductor say to Baba when baba gave him a 500 Rupee note?
You're perfect. Now change

A story about my luck with Women - 'Burn'

What happens when a Cannabis shipment falls into a tribal village - Ranti Nasha

A collaborative poem effort by George Michael and Elton John - 'Violate'

A story about a sceptical armoured tank - 'Blasted beyond belief'


I was forced to post this. By Vinit. Apologies

Monday, February 22, 2010

BM2

Sunday, February 21, 2010


The very fantabulous Kunal Kakodkar took some pictures of Bhayanak Maut at Marimba Lounge last Thursday.

Check them out here :-->

http://blog.kunalkakodkar.com/pics-bhayanak-maut-marimba-bhayanakmaut

Thank you Kunal.



This is for you.

You know you want it.
You know you can get it, cause
Nobody else can.

Jobs

Jobs. The most fundamental form of Nihilistic nemesis. It's funny when people want to live a righteous, non-conformist life, free of social norms and obligations. Inside everyone, there is a Christopher Mccandless who wants to get the hell out of the city and into the mountains where you can hunt for food, swim for recreation and dig for sexual satisfaction. But look what happened to Christopher Mccandless in the end. If you thought the film was beautiful and melancholically serene, you're right. It was. But the truth is, the guy died a regret-filled, lonely death. His agent and publisher probably made a lot of money but that's besides the point.

Coming back to jobs. We all hate them. I haven't met a single person who enjoys his work more than he enjoys the weekend. It's just not possible. Unless that person is a Marijuana farmer, a professional musician, a male porn-star, or a lying bastard. We need the money. So we become the weekend warriors, trudging through the 5 or 6 days to see dawn ejaculate on your sunday so that you can enjoy a late breakfast and two awkward hours in the evening with friends that have now become acquaintances.

So yeah, that's that. There will always be a Canadian dream, a Goan dream, a Manali dream. But the truth is, you will be where you are. You will have the odd vacation - a bastard child of the long weekend, where you will go 100 km outside the city limits and think, that some day you will give all of it away and retire in the mountains - shooting shit with the birds, chewing on a hay stem, playing old songs on your guitar and smiling into the crimson sunset.

But you'll always return to the city. The city, where you will block your nose with your handkerchief against the fecal stench of a 12 hour monday; with sweat running down the back of your white shirt, praying that you get a seat in the train, praying that your boss will have that much-promised appraisal meeting with you, praying that tonight you mother will not complain, praying that the hot little thing from accounts makes eye contact with you so that you can grow balls five years later to ask her out, praying that your ex-wife does not bang the world like she promised, praying that some day your life will end and you will not be left to clean the bed that you shat on, because you're 73 and your sphincter has become as reliable as the pension ads on TV that promise you a well-endowed life.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

A message from Vinay

Hi,

Yup, I'm going. 7 years and 2 deaf ears.
What will I miss about being with the superbly-awesome and fantasmo Bhayanak Maut?

Let me list the top 10 :
- Live gigs!
- Food!
- Alcohol!
- Fanboys who kiss your hand!
- 4 hour "Taboo" sessions!
- Greg and Sebastian!
- Getting your picture taken by an over-excited teenager!
- Jamming in Jordan Vegas' jam room
- The BM guys
- Growling

Thank you all for making me feel so good. I'm humbled by your love.
God bless.
Vinay

I...see...drunk...people

Guwahati is the shite.
Here's why:
- My last show with Ras-al-gul on drums
- My best show ever with Bhayanak Maut
- Started a mini-riot
- Saw drunk people dance on stage during our performance and enjoyed every moment of it
- Got hugged ON STAGE during a song by random men. Yes, more than one man.
- Got kissed on hand by random male who made very "come hither" advances after he did the deed
- Played shit-loads of taboo
- Drank shit-loads of fine Assam tea

I will miss being with Bhayanak Maut. I will.

Guwahati 2

So we played the most awesome show ever. The crowd broke the barricades and swamped the stage. But we also went through a 9 hour flight ordeal. Some quotes from the trip.

The Ragul - "I have good news and bad news. But they're both the same. Another joint is being rolled."
Vinit - "If i ever invite you guys to join my fanpage, just kill me."
PomPom of Death metal fame " I want the Princess delight."
Random guy at the gig - "I WANT BOILED FILATURE UNWOUNDED!!!"
Gig Compere right after i give her the cigarette that she asked for " Is this drugs or smoke?"
Pompom of Dandruff fame to airhostess after half a step into the flight "Can i have a glass of water?"

Not one hot woman in Guwahati. Not one.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Guwahati

So we're leaving for Guwahati in about 9 hours. So wish us luck. And if we get abducted by them naxals, please pay for the ransom cause our parents sure as shit wont. If you pay our ransom, maybe we can get together for a drink or coffee. Maybe that one meeting gives way to a couple more. Maybe we have obligatory issues and feel that the only way to repay you is by having sex with you. Dirty, dirty sex. Think gerbils, clowns and paint thinner. We're pretty classy that way.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Guwahati and the end

Last time together.
Seven years have gone by quick.
One thought : must break stage.

BM 1

God is watching

You know, i've always wondered about god and if he exists, and what is it that he was smoking when he designed Jessica alba or Kanye west for that matter. So yeah, you know when bad things happen to you, one always wonders "Where is God?", "Why is he not helping me?" or "Why did i agree to rim that chick i did last month". It's funny; not from a philosophical point of view, but from a very vouyeristic perspective. God did not help you because:

1. That time you worked in a callcenter, you laughed when that guy with laryngeal cancer answered the phone and sounded like a robot
2. Every time you take a suspicious smelling dump, you get up to look at it.
3. You fake laughed in front of your friends everytime they played 'Rest in peace' by The Salvation Crusade.
4. You cried when you watched Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham
5. You had conversations with your television and wanted to be the 7th 'Friend'
6. You did not buy the Bhayanak Maut album

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Anyone can write Haiku.

Anyone can write.
Especially Haiku.
Bhayanak Maut too.

Afternoon

Oh, afternoon nap. You are like the exotic latin mistress that the protagonist gets to bed only once and almost once more.

'person' and his knee

A ligament torn.
A photo shoot rescheduled.
Person say, fuck my life.

Burning Eyes - Haiku

I squint while eye burn.
'Eye Cool', will help me cool it.
Need I say anymore?

Monday, February 8, 2010

Kneesha

So i got myself a knee-ligament tear last night. It's this aggravated injury from 4 years ago where i did the same during an ATC gig.

You know what they say about shit coming back to haunt you. Like doing a Haitian chick in goa and then she calling you and telling you that when she said "I want you inside me", she meant it . Only more painful.

The truth

You never called.
So I promptly disconnected.

"Haiku Break" or "What Happened At The Bhayanak Maut Rolling Stone Photo Shoot Last Night".

Saucer was broken.
Knee cap was busted too, ouch.
Doctor stayed at home.

French fried

Hey Clement, apologies for this delay in replying to your questions. I'm Vinay, one of the vocalists and here are my answers:


1. Hey gentlemen, nice to meet you. First of all, could you introduce your band and its members to our readers? And... how we poor French should pronounce "Bhayanak Maut"?
Vinit has done an awesome job on introducing the band members. Thank you Vinit. I shall think about buying you a beer. In the meantime, make do with my compliment. Now I would like to introduce the band's members to you. They are : Cock, Lund, Penis, Choo-choo, Wee-wee and Pee-pee. They send you their best.

2. "Bhayanak Maut" means "Terrible Death" in hindi, what does it exactly mean for you? (I read it is inspired by a Ramsay Brothers' movie, but since I didn't see any, I don't get the point)
Shouldn't you ask this question after you see a Ramsay Brothers' movie? Now, now, don't be lazy. Go ahead and watch "Bhayanak Maut" by the Ramsay Brothers. I wish I could find the poster for the movie; you'd love it. If you can't watch the movie, no sweat, watch "Gunda" instead.

Here's the link : http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4533128454129747129&ei=qgxdS5ifJoGUwgPMw_3qCw&q=gunda#

Try and enjoy the film without subtitles. We did.

3. How would you describe your sound?
I would describe it as a taste : Yummy, like chunky peanut butter.

4. What bands/artists influenced you and made you want to tear down the walls with your shock wave sounds?
Mithun Chakraborty is God. Mimoh Chakraborty is a mistake.


5. It's not that usual in metal to use dual singers, what about this choice?
We couldn't find three singers. So we used two. The dual vocal attack is, by the way, called "the guttural twins".


6. What could you tell us about your album released on August of this year?
It released itself quite smoothly.


7. The album has received a 4 star rating in the last September Rolling Stone Magazine, right? How did you feel about such recognition?
It felt exactly like the happiness you feel when your band's album gets a 4 star rating in Rolling Stone magazine.


8. And what could you tell about "Hell is all People" and "Malignant", your previous recordings?
Don't remember those albums. Scarred memories.


9. I discovered your band with "Malignant" EP back in 2006. Your sound was quite aggressive and violent, and I was like "Woah, Indian people can freakin' make it! Why don't they come in Europe?". Since there's a lot of big Metal fests all over the continent, do you have any plan to play gigs out there?
Read this sentence very very carefully: 1 Euro = Rs. 65
You live on an expensive continent my friend. We live in a poor country. We're currently happy playing to poor metal heads. You rich Europeans should come to India to listen to us. Will fit in your "I'm taking a year-long sabbatical to backpack across the world" budgets. Really.


10. How is your audience in India when you play gigs? Is there only regular fans or is the community increasing?
They're well-groomed and well-dressed. They're fashion conscious and have clean teeth and are also lice-free. This makes concerts a thoroughly enjoyable experience for us.


11. Misanthropy and violence are relatively persistant topics in your lyrics. Is it something personal and concerning Indian culture, or just coming from Metal common anger themes?
I write the lyrics. They're about girls, flowers, underwear and body fluids. If you read anything else in those lyrics, then I suggest you see a shrink.


12. The Metal "boom" is getting bigger these years in India, a lot of bands uprising from the subcontinent. What's your opinion about this fad?
The "boom" is getting bigger cause the sound engineers at concerts in India have discovered the volume knob on their sound consoles. If that's a fad then i hope it lasts at least a couple of years.


13. To finish, India is mainly known in Europe for Bollywood movies, dances and spices. What are your opinions about these stereotypes? What would you like to make known about India?

India smells wonderful. We have clean toilets and government authorized cannabis sellers. We're polite to westerners and would love to make bastard children with the women. Come to India. Come watch Bhayanak Maut.


14. Thanks a lot for your time guys. What are your final words for people going to buy your CD?
Tujha Aicha Gho.

Metal Hammer UK Interview - The one that will never be published

1) A metal scene in India? How?!!

India ought to be known as the Great Grand Father of the World Metallurgical Industry. However, due to unfortunate historical circumstances, many Indians themselves remain unaware of this fact. The art of Bronze Casting had been practiced in India for several centuries before the Modern World Discovered "Metallurgy". Copper and Bronze were perhaps the earliest Non-Ferrous Metals which man shaped into tools. Metal is part of the Indian mystique as each Metal has its own alchemic and healing powers as documented in ancient Indian Scriptures written over 5000 years ago. Metal in India has been used as a way of expressing Art in several forms using techniques such as Inlay, Casting, Carving, Applique Enameling, Engraving, Scratching, Wiring etc. Metal craft has been an integral part of Indian culture. So has Metal music – it’s just that Indians have never known it. Silly Indians. Bhayanak Maut’s sole purpose in this life is to make Indian Metal (which, coincidentally, won’t be found in the periodic table) known to people (of all colours, races, genders, sexual preferences, educational backgrounds and follicular capacity). Yes, we’re going to fail miserably and we don’t care. There’s another theory to this bizarre phenomenon (Metal in India, not our failure to propagate it) - You British bastards ruled over our land for three hundred years. And when you left, you gifted us the art of wearing 3 piece suits, education that helps you get a job, vehicular manslaughter and Metal. You know, just like the Hip-Hop scene in London.


2) Is it hard being a metal band in India?

Oh yeah. Them curly-toed slippers make it difficult to play Metal on stage.

Look man, Metal makes us hard. Sometimes, it makes us really really hard. Like hot iron ingots in your pants. It can get uncomfortable. The sheer magnanimity of the heaviness can weigh you down. But that’s just the opportunity that you’ve gotta grab with both hands (kind of like grabbing a cow’s udders) and milk the opportunity dry. Cows are holy in India, like Elton John. Nice udders on that queer, by the way.

3) How come you don't sing in an Indian language?

Hmmmm. Yeh padh key dikha, chal.

You twits brought one language here (thanks for not bringing the tasteless food) but you forgot to take back a few when you returned in 1947 (You didn’t forget the Kohinoor Diamond, did you?). There are over 400 spoken languages in this fucking country. Feel free to choose one and write a song for us.

4) Is metal in India even more about rebellion, since you're being force-fed bollywood and pop music so much?

We’re being force-fed a lot of shit nowadays. The Recession is over and we gotta put back all that weight we lost in 2009. We're not force-fed Bollywood and Pop. We’re human beings just like you lot and do have the freedom to choose to listen to what we want to – really. Yes, really, we’re allowed to choose. The sad thing is most people here LIKE that kind of stuff. (We’re sure some of your forefathers’ blood is running in those Bollywood lovers….Bad taste is something that you British left behind too). Then there are those that listen to other kinds of noise like Drum and bass, Hip-hop and Rap. The rest listen to Metal and chill.

5) Why haven't we seen bands like Demonic or BM tour UK?

Well, you know we have phone numbers in this country too. Just like you. Get in touch with our manager. He’s a nice guy. Speaks English. No funny accent. Get us to the motherland.

6) Would you say you are more metal than metal bands in Europe/USA because you don't get to see bands much, can't buy CDs in stores, can't make a career out of making music and so on?

We wouldn't say we're more metal. We're as metal with a little bit of curry and spice. And we get to see international bands playing shows and listen to their CDs with this special thing called the Internet. It’s pretty awesome. We’re aiming to get faster internet connections as dowry when we get married. Till then 2MBPS should suffice.

#

So i ask the man, "How hast thou weareth such exquisite robes? Such astute statements against the norms of our daily misgivings?" And then speaketh the man, "Gaand mara chutiye"

Fat Haiku

I am fat I am.
Do not lie to me say eyes.
Eat now, we must, say Yoda.

1 sentence. 1 thought.

It will happen.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Arse n all

Sophie Choudhary was wet too. And I want to tap that ass.

Pooja Bedi - I will ravish you with my bare pause

Pooja Bedi was wet.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Jack daniels. Oh, and the awards too

So we went for the JD rock awards at HRC last night and MAN was it a party. Yes it was. A PAGE3 party. Inappropriately dressed members of the rock fraternity mingling with the who's goo of the Bombay Page3 socialite randwagon - botox whores and viagra geezers. But also present there were barely legal girls and an open bar. That pretty much killed it for us bways.

Uday Benegal is the MAN, That dude from emperor minge made a big place for himself and his wig in everyone's hearts, i got really drunk and Shahzahn Padamsee got really hot. That's about it.

Oh, and our friend and electrician, Anupam Roy of fudgepacker fame won best producer and Bhayanak Maut won the Critics choice award for Album of the year.

Oh No! Yoko

30 seconds into the earshcplittenloudenboomer crap that is "John Lennon & Yoko Ono - Cambridge 1969" and you know why Chapman shot Lennon.

Yoko Ono controls minds. With Banshee wails. She's powerful.

I'm sure he pointed the gun at her, intent on permanently eliminating the waste that is that Japanese .

She wailed. She entered his mind. He changed his target. He shot Lennon.

Bastard woman.

Twin speak.

"Ah!", I said to Sunneith.

"Ha!", he replied.

That's all you need to know for today.

*wave hands frantically*

This is where you can take a peep into the minds of the Guttural twins. You'd find the odd band update and lyrics posts. But this is where we'd post the most perverse and rancid details about what is going on with us in our lives. Expect a lot of puns and graphic wordplay. This is the kind of stuff that the japanese beat off to.